Getting Married TODAY.....any words of wisdom?

[faeriequeene]

So my boyfriend of three years and I are getting married today at the courthouse because of lack of funding at the moment. He swears in to the National Guard on Thursday and will find out his ship out date to go to Basic Training then. Our parents are not supporting us in this (my parents aren't at all, and his parents can't help financially and think we should wait until after he gets back from training.) There are many circumstances surrounding our lives right now, but none of them are directly impacting our choice to marry now (although that's how his parents see it). We have been talking about getting married for two years now, and are choosing to act on it - not on impulse, but through much thought and planning. The circumstances that are going to follow our union are going to be both rewarding and taxing because of how our families are acting.

Any advice would be welcomed - on marriage or anything else for that matter. It's going to be rough having him gone for the first little bit, but the choice to join the Guard is a means Nick has taken on to help us both now and in the future. I'm a military brat, so although I'm not going to like him being gone, I can handle it because I dealt with military separation issues as a child. So again, any words of advice or encouragement would be nice.

[Kathleen C-C]

Congratulations! Marriage is such an exciting step.

I think that what you and Nick are doing is very brave. It is hard not to crack under parental pressure, especially when crucial financial support is at stake, but life is too short to wait until you have the approval of everyone around you. My parents are (generally speaking) nice people and I love them a lot, but when I called to tell them that I was going to marry Daniel my dad hung up on me and my mother wouldn't stop asking, "Why - are you pregnant?" My dad actually threatened (through my mother, since he was too mad to speak to me directly) to stop helping me pay my tuition, but he got over it pretty quickly after he put his desire for me to get a college education in front of his urge to control his adult daughter. If I'd waited for their approval or blessing, I would have missed out on 568 beautiful days with the man who was the other half of my soul.

You both have so much going on right now, but when are your lives ever not going to be complicated? It's better to get married now than to let your individual lives diverge to the point where they can never be rejoined. You and Nick are the only ones who know what is truly in your hearts - this is not something that your parents, friends or advisors will ever know - and if today feels like the right day to get married, then it is! I think it's better to stand hand in hand with the one person who loves and supports you unconditionally than it is to try and face the extraordinary challenges and the unrelenting 'haters' of the world on your own. Even if you and Nick are the only 2 people in the universe who believe that you can make your marriage work, your mutual faith in each other will be enough to sustain you.

I hope that made sense - the graveyard shift and early onset morning sickness have done nothing for my writing skills. Major kudos and congratulations to you both!

[Nancy]

Congratulations! I'm so sorry both sets of parents aren't being very supportive. It sounds like you have a really good head on your shoulders and both of you know whats best. I wish y'all all the luck in the world! Marriage is very hard, but can also be very rewarding. Also tell Nick thank you for being brave enough to enlist!

[Crystal]

Congrats! My husband & I got married like that too. One morning we just decided to get married - so we went to the courthouse & filled out everything and met the Justice of the Peace at the park. We have been married 10 years in September! Our parents & family were PISSED, but they eventually got over it.


BTW that's the #1 question we got "Why? Are you pregnant?" lol

[Stephanie]

Congratulations!! I am sure your parents will come around.

[ramona]

Well, I was pregnant and of course everyone was very upset. Steve's family said of course now you've got to get married. But that was 29 years ago in April. We have stuck together thick and thin. Decided early on that we wanted each other and no one would tell us different. Still feel the same he is stuck in his ways watches far too much football leaves his dirty socks on the floor BUT he still makes my heart flutter and still want to hold his hand. parents come around and life goes on just know what you want and decided that's what you want sticks to it.

[pkaugust]

Many congratulations and thank you to Nick!

I am not married, only engaged but I do understand full and well the sentiment of being away from a loved one. Paul and I have endured separations of days, weeks, and months through different cities, states, and countries. It is certainly not easy and without the luxuries of inventions like Skype it'd be hard not seeing him. Whenever we're apart (like going abroad this upcoming semester) we do the little things to make it easier - send packages, post cards, call in the evenings when we can (depending on time differences), make it feel like our presence is always with one another. It's not much, but I hope it helps a little. Best wishes, many congratulations again!

[!Ashley!]

The best advice I can give is to try not to worry about what your parents think. You guys doing what is right for the two of you is the only thing you can do. Parents are going to get upset about the choices we make but one thing I've learned is that they ALWAYS get over it. :-)

[Katy Ann]

Congrats to you both-i wish you many happiness' and regardless of what either of your families say to you your love is all the matters. Good luck to him with the National Guard and may you both have many blessing on your special day.

Again congrats

[amanda s lantz]

Congrats. You and Nick need to do what is best for the 2 of you. I know that your parents are trying to look out for you, but it is your life. If you wait until the "right" time, the "right" time may never come. I was married when I was 20. Young yes, but I wouldn't trade a minute. You may not have the funds to have that big wedding, but the vows you say to each other are all that matters. (I had a small, parents/siblings only wedding and that probably was best, my hubby was so nervous. He isn't into big crowds.) We may not be "rich", but we are rich in love, and that is all that matters. I wish you both the best!

[faeriequeene]

Thanks to everyone that has left encouraging words. We were married just after four this afternoon and are thrilled. We are both so giddy that we are constantly busting out into laughter. Today was everything I wanted it to be, and I'm happier than ever! Again, many thanks for the words of encouragement - you ladies are such wonderful friends!

[melzel19]

Congrats Melissa!!! I wish you two the best!

[nmcox]

I wish I could have been there! Congrats to you and Nick. Marriage is no easy feat for anyone these days. I wish you two the best of luck in life with lots of love and happiness. The road will be rough, so hang on tight and enjoy the ride.